wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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