i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
