I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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