Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize