I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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