his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
