I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I got inside last night via doggy door
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
