I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
