she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
