May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
