check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
