I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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