Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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