i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
