I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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