i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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