oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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