Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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