so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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