you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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