just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize