Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
