I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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