The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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