sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
