i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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