thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
