She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
