I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My bed smells like the plague
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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