i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
