Your face is a jimmy john
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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