she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
