I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
