well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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