I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
