I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and she was petting her beer can
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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