I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
