I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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