Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
