Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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