It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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