He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
