you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
