Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
