The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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