I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
