remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
