He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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