nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
