It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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