I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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