What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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