I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
