I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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