The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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