first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize