Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
