Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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